Dear Insecure You...

“What would you say to a girl who feels like she’s not enough? I’m just not very confident. How can I deal with this insecurity?”

You know what it’s like to feel insecure. For some of you, it feels like that’s all you know. So, what did I say to her? What would I say to you? Here’s my advice for insecure girls everywhere .

Dear Insecure Girl,

Insecurity has always been a part of our lives. Grab your Bible and read the story of the first girl to ever live in Genesis 1–3. Eve was beautiful. She was created perfectly. To top it off, she was the only girl in the whole world. Miss America goes to . . . Eve! Miss Universe? Eve wins that too! The most popular girl in the world? Yep, that was Eve. It seems like under those circumstances it would be impossible for Eve to feel insecure, but that was not the case.

Check out how the Enemy tempts her.

“But the serpent said to the woman, ‘You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil” (Gen. 3:5).

“You will be like God.”

Read between those lines. What he was really saying is, “You are not enough. You need to be more, Eve. You must find a way to measure up." The baik worked. Eve was desperate to quiet her insecurity and she took a bite of the forbidden fruit.

For so many years, I thought insecurity was just part of being a girl. Every girl I knew was insecure. It seemed that it had always been that way and always would be. We need to get real about the fact that this is one of the Enemy’s tactics. If he can get us to fix our eyes on ourselves and all the ways we fall short, we will inevitably take our eyes off of Christ and all the ways He is enough. This has been true since the very beginning of womanhood, but it doesn’t have to be the way your story goes.

God doesn’t leave you guessing.

God doesn’t leave us guessing about our value and worth to Him. Several years ago, my world was totally rocked when I opened my Bible and prayed this prayer.

“God show me how you feel about me.”

I didn’t find some cute, little slogan about how God loves me the way that I am (even though that’s true). I didn’t find just a few compliments here and there. What I found was that from Genesis to Revelation, God’s Word declares God’s deep, everlasting, and dependable love and acceptance of me. You don’t have to take my word for it. In fact, I’d love for you to go digging into God’s Word for yourself for answers about His feelings toward you. But here is a snapshot.

The king is enthralled by your beauty (Ps. 45:11).

He knows every detail of who you are. He studies you like an artist studies his masterpiece or a groom studies his bride to be (Matt. 10:30).

You were bought at a price (1 Cor. 6:20).

I can’t do anything about fat days. I don’t have a magic wand that can clear up your skin and trick out your closet. (Or I would wave it for myself, for sure!) But eventually I had to ask myself, “In light of all that God says about me, shouldn’t these things matter less?”

Ultimately, insecurity is about unbelief. We don’t believe that we are who God says that we are. The tentacles of insecurity started to loosen their grip on my heart when I finally chose to believe God’s Word about my worth and value and decided to let it be enough.

The Secret to Confidence

Time has taught me a secret I wish I’d known as a teenager—the prettiest girls are the most confident girls. They’re not necessarily confident because they’re pretty. They’re pretty because they’re confident.

People are always drawn to a girl who knows who she is and isn’t afraid to show it. If you’re a Christian, that’s who you are. You are the daughter of the King of kings! Be that 100%. Be confident in your value to Him and the beauty that He created for you to showcase. I promise, people will be drawn to your confidence.

Insecurity doesn’t have to be a part of your story. You can be confident in who God says that you are. The Bible tells us that is the secret to unlocking true beauty.

“Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious” (1 Peter 3:3–4).

LETS TALK ABOUT GUYS!

Guys. What pops into your head when you read that? you probably have a mixture of a million different emotions and experiences and all of a sudden you’re thinking about that guy who played your heart, or that guy who left you or that guy who won over your heart. You want to laugh and cry and punch but also you want to hug them and tell them, “thank you for everything.” Guys can be so confusing. So what makes me qualified to write about them? Absolutely nothing. If anything, my track record would actually make me unqualified hahah. I’m just an average young adult but I’m also someone who is following a God who is anything but average and is revealing to me His way of navigating this whole guy thing. And it’s wayyy better than anything I’ve read on books or magazines or any tips from other girl friends who are just as clueless as me.

I’m not going to get into the whole “embracing singleness as a gift” thing right now cause that would need to be a whole different post. Today I want to talk about what we typically want in a guy and why we want it and if maybe just maybe we need to change it and change ourselves and our perspective on it. First things first, if you have some long list of requirements for your future husband, that’s awesome but you better be working on yourself too so you can check off the things on his list. Do not sit around waiting for him and then once y’all are dating decide to start being your best self. It just doesn’t work that way! Work on YOU while you have time and energy to invest in yourself and then y’all will both reap the benefits as a couple later on! It’s becoming way too normal for girls to expect God to give us an amazing guy who has all these great qualities and will lead us well and all we have to do is sit on the sidelines and wait. NO! Become the type of person you want to attract.

So what is attractive to us? Y’all already know physical attraction is huge if we’re honest and yes it is important but I don’t want to be a wrinkly 80 year old looking over at my husband and knowing that the #1 thing that brought us together was looks. Looks have a place but they don’t last so they don’t satisfy the true desires we have for a relationship. Even without the Christian aspect, it’s just shallow to base a relationship off of purely outward appearance.

So what should we look for on the inside? Lucky for us God literally listed out characteristics of love the way He designed it. Patient, kind, doesn’t envy or boast, is not proud, is not self seeking, is not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs, doesn’t delight in evil but rejoices with the truth, protects, trusts, hopes, perseveres. If the guy you’re interested in doesn’t fit that list, you shouldn’t even be considering him. Duh no one is perfect but if he is truly chasing after God, those characteristics should be present and evident in a significant, obvious way. God doesn’t want you to settle so if you’re trying to justify dating someone who doesn’t match up with this, those thoughts aren’t coming from Him.

And if a guy ended up reading this post then same goes for you when you’re considering a girl. Just because you’re supposed to be the leader doesn’t mean it’s okay to settle for a girl who is lukewarm spiritually. Check their inside by seeing what comes out of their mouth and their actions day by day in how they live their life in every circumstance. If y’all date they will influence you and you deserve someone who will build you up rather than bring you down.

I have a list of 3 things that are non-negotiables. I really encourage that you make your own or even use this one as a way to stay focused and accountable to the ultimate goal of having a Christ-centered marriage someday.

1.) Are they pursuing God at the same pace as me. Can I serve better with them than without them?

2.) Are they someone I can have a friendship with and have conversations and be vulnerable and trust?

3.) Attraction mentally, spiritually, personality?

I hope that you feel comfortable enough with God that you can talk with Him about everything, even guys! He desires a deep relationship with you and cares just as much about the little things as the big things and will shape your heart to be more like His as He reveals to you the way He wants things to be in your life.

Re-Spark That Fire with Him!

“…and if you could just pray that the flame will spark and stay on fire and that I develop a strong desire to have a firm, strong relationship with Him again…”

This is from a dm I received from a friend that inspired me to share to you! I pray God moves through my writing but also that real growth occurs through genuine conversations that are started by it.

It’s a common thing heard when people talk about wanting to be on fire for Jesus! The problem is, fires eventually burn out. However, someone told me that “if you want a fire, you have to put in one stick at a time”.

So if the desire of our heart is truly to have a relationship with God, we will keep putting in sticks so the flame doesn’t disappear.

A “stick” is just anything you do that gets you closer to God. Maybe it’s praying, reading a bible, listening to worship songs, or meeting with a friend and doing a bible study together etc etc etc. Believe me when I say this, when you draw near to God and He will draw near to you. What a beautiful promise God given us. One of the pastors once said, "if God seems far away, guess who moved?” which is such a great reminder that although we definitely can’t work our way to heaven, we still need to put a work in order to be closer to Him and become more like Him just like we would do for any human relationship. How much more should we desire to do so with our Heavenly Father who loves us so much deeper than any human ever could!

I’m not doing this blog thing to give tips to people who I can’t relate to. I’m literally just thinking of topics and talking about whatever pops into my head from what my reality is and what God has shown me and I know 100% that I need to read and apply my own words more than anyone else does.

With that being said, some days I feel like I can only put in half a stick. My recent excuse is all about work work and work, the most exhausting way. It takes a lot out of me physically, mentally, and even spiritually and some days I just feel drained when I have to add even just little life things on top of it. It’s ironic because even though I know God will fill me up, I still use feeling empty as an excuse to not make time for Him. Yet I think scrolling through social media or standing in a hot shower for way too long will help. My point here is, it’s not about having time, it’s about making time.

Chances are I don’t know you on a deep level so I do not know what your excuses are and they might be wayyyy bigger than my current one. I just know we all have excuses or we would never feel the need to re-spark that fire with Him because we would be content with drifting from God. Wow I pray hard for me and for you that we never end up in that place. Lately I have tried to start looking at my excuses as motivation. The fact that I’m even making an excuse means I’m obviously feeling a conviction that is requiring a response which means my soul knows I need to spend time with Jesus even when the enemy’s lies try to convince me otherwise. 

So my prayer for myself, for a friend who messaged me, for you, yes you and for anyone who reads this is that we will listen to that conviction and desire to chase after God knowing that He can and will satisfy us and fill us up so we can pour it out onto others and that we will be realistic and realize that it will require throwing in some sticks day by day.

OBEDIENCE (GENESIS 22:1-18)

This is the story of Abraham and Isaac. So Abraham was praying to God for Isaac. Isaac was a good thing and Isaac was a gift from the Lord. It's amazing in this story, this is when God calls Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, his one and only son. Abraham was called to obedience. 

Starting from verse one, it says, after this things God tested Abraham and said to Him,"Abraham!" and he said, "here I am." so "after this things" what does it mean? what's the context that leading up to this point? well Abraham was going through previous trials and testing of his faith. Some he succeed and some he failed it. So he already been traveling and going through all this testing of his faith. He was going on a mission, a journey of his faith. So he was facing his previous test and God comes and says, "after this things". God tested Abraham.

God tests us. The reason why God tests us, He puts us in this kind of situation of obedience, because He wants to see if we truly rely on Him, it reveals the genuineness of our faith if we are really going to respond His call of obedience. When God tests us, it strengthen us, to mature our faith. We grow deeper into relationship with Him through the testing process. We get to rely on Him and get to know God even better. That is the purpose of testing out our faith. He reveals more who He is, who we are, and who we become.

So Abraham is standing there and says, "here I am Lord, ready to hear from you." God calls Abraham and Abraham responded. When God calls you to do something, what is your reaction? just run up and say here I am what do you want me to do? I am going to act and I am going to obey? or you just run away? don't miss out on that calling. When God calls you say here I am like Abraham did.

Going to the verse two. it says, He said, "take your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I shall tell you." When I read that, I was like, that's exactly what the Lord is telling me to do. "I want you to give it up to me because I said so." But it's beautiful we see in verse three, "so Abraham rose early in the morning, saddled his donkey, and took two of his young men with him and his son Isaac. And he cut the wood for the burnt offering and arose and went to the place of which God had told him." When the Lord command him, he woke up the next morning, he did it even without an explanation. Remember, Isaac was a good thing that the Lord gave him. But God wanted to see if Abraham desired God over the things that God gives him.

Our generation, we worship the created, but we don't worship the creator like we should. So when God calls us to sacrifice good things, "oh God but my relationship is founded on you." But God says, "yes, but you are not worshiping me, you are worshiping this relationship that's founded on me." 

If we are idolizing the things and doing things of this world over spending time with the Lord and if you don't want to give the things up and experience the relationship with Him, that's idolatry. Do not put the things of this world in place of God. I am not saying Isaac was necessarily an idol, but in this situation that was a testing of faith. That's how it was for me. I realized I was putting a lot of my hope in that relationship where I should be putting my 100% to the Lord.

God is not gonna call you to do something and not come through. He will come through. So even when obedience doesn't make any sense to you, if He is calling you to do something and you are saying, "why Lord why are you calling me to do this and that?". Just trust Him and He will come through, He will answer those promises that God made to you. When we give God our whole heart, we will receive the whole blessings. How do you expect the whole blessing if you only giving God 95% of your heart? What is that 5% you are holding on? what is that 5% you are clinging on that is keeping you from enjoying 100% of God's blessings? He desperately wants to do a good work in each and every single one of you, but I guarantee you that there's something 5% or 25% or maybe 100% that you are holding on that you just need to give over to Him and trust Him with. It's gonna hurt for sure, but God will comfort you.

Paul calls us to run the race. We need to run the race. But we can't run the race if we don't discipline ourselves to walk in obedience. How can we run the race if we can't even step (one step) to obedience? There's no way to do that. We have to take an initial step. If we want to fulfill our purpose and bring Him the glory which is what we created to do, obedience is all we need. Not just walk in but run it.

First initial step of obedience that the Lord was calling me to do, that was hard. Giving up the relationship I had was really tough. But when I first took that step of obedience and I said, "okay Lord, I took that step." And He said, "okay here's the next one." And I said, "okay God you did a good thing with this step, I am going to take the next step and so on." Before you know it, you are going to be running the race, you are gonna set your eyes on the prize and you are not going to even think twice about obeying. 

It's going to be hard to take that initial step. Trust me, running the race is very hard. It takes a lot of discipline and I believe we can all agree with that. But it becomes easier, the more that you have eyes focus on the prize and the promises that God has for you. Your eyes fixed on that, not the thing that this world or around you said might be tempting you with. You have your eyes on Jesus, you are going to run to the light.

You become more aware of what God has for you. But the only way you gonna see the Lord fulfilled His promises, if you step out in obedience. If you want to experience God's way, the crazy way, the way that Abraham did, if you want to experience the glory of God like that, you have to step out in obedience. We want to see God moving our lives, working in our lives. But we have to be willing, we have to give Him 100% of our hearts. We have to let go of the 5% that we're clinging on to. And we finally have to let it down.

Whatever the Lord is laying on your heart right now, I want you to do it. I want you to be proactive so you can experience the glory of God right now. Just like Abraham, "here I am, whatever you say, I'll do it Lord." Because what's the point of saying, "here I am Lord, I want to hear a word from you." And you just turn your back on it. You have to allow Him to influence you and you have to let Him in. That's your own choice.

I want to run the race with obedience. I don't know about you, but I want to run the race as fast as I can and I want to experience the glory of God. I want to step into the will of God, every step that I can while I am here on this earth, while I am still able to do the great ministry.

Don't miss out on things that God has for you. Run the race in complete surrender. He doesn't want you to miss out on any good things. That's why it breaks His heart when we fallen into temptation and when we settle for the things for this world. Don't settle for anything when God has excellent things for you because it's not worth it.

Start with a big prayer asking for big things, expecting big things, but you also have to step into obedience. Give God 100% of your heart and you will receive 100% of His blessings. We are living active breathing just because of God. I am seeing the fruit today and that is just encouraging me to run even more.

Seeing what He has done for me, I can't even imagine what's next right in front of me. His plan for you and me, I just don't know. But I pray for all of us that God will call us and challenge us to lay down the things that not from Him. I pray that we can all lay down 100% everything because we don't want to miss out anything that God has for us. God, if more of you means less of me, I want you to take everything from me. Love on us Lord and comfort us and give us boldness to lay down those things. You are God of promises, show us your way so that we can experience your glory and let us run the race in obedience. Make it clear to us and give us the first step today, in Jesus name Amen!

SELF-CARE ROUTINE. STAY HEALTHY WHEN LIFE GETS IN THE WAY.

Through this crazy process of oh my God what am I doing? that I started to notice a lot other things that were not necessarily going right in my life as well. All these crazy emotions, it's just been a mirror of myself, of what I am going through. My life is confused, because I am confused and that has been the most beautiful painful thing I have ever had to deal within my life. Beautiful because growth is beautiful and when you figure out that you are growing like ah I am growing, I am changing, but when you're in it and you don't realize what is going on, that could be painful, because you're like why is everything going wrong?

No more self-blame. Stop blaming myself for everything for every single little thing. Self forgiveness and removing shame from your own self is probably the most important thing that I am learning to do. You can't move forward if you keep pulling yourself back into shame. It is so easy to forget that 5 months ago you already learned a lesson and not blame yourself, but when you are not feeling good, it is so easy to sink back to old habits and old thoughts.

Things I have been doing is meditation. This is hard. It is hard because from my wake up, I am always trying to think I have to do this and that, I did not do this and that, so when I have to take 10 to 15 minutes in the morning to meditate, probably the first 5 minutes is just moving all my thoughts aside, acknowledge your thought and you let them travel on and then sitting still for those minutes and letting whatever if I am listening to worship songs or if I am guiding myself through meditation, it has been, I want to say life-changing. That 10 to 15 minutes in the morning where it is just all about me and God and focusing my energy and being still and breathing has changed the entire tone of my day. There's no longer my day starts with panic, it starts with calm and gratitude. Anybody out there who's having trouble with anxiety or anything like that, learn how to meditate, there's some great apps out there. I listen to podcast a lot so I actually found podcast. Right now I am listening to Meditation Minis Podcast. Huge thanks to my friend, Peter (my old buddy from uni hey if you are reading this!) who pushes me to do meditation.

A few years ago an amazing mentor of mine told me when I read, not just read, but to reflect. I have been practicing doing a lot of reflective reading, at least  1 or 2 nights a week. If I am reading more of like a self development book, after I read a certain amount then I will do a 30 minutes reflection, and also as I am reading I take notes anything that jumps out which I think it's good. Writing notes and writing down how I feel really punctuates whatever I am reading.

A long side that also, journal. What I've noticed, a lot of times when I am going through stuff, I feel so ashamed that I don't want to write what I am feeling even though I know it's going to help. I've been forcing myself to be like, girl write it, think through it, go through it. A lot of times I am writing through stuff, getting the answer as I am writing because my brain is literally processing what's going on and it's like oh aha..

Having a morning and night time routine is extremely grounding. It's not about the chaos of trying to figure out your day anymore, it's literally like here's the 5 things I do in the morning; I get up, I pray, I read my bible, I meditate and I set my target for the day. In the evening, I come home, I shower, I pick and watch church sermons/ read my bible, I write my journal and listen to my podcast, go through my instagram/blog post, and I go to bed. Those are my routine. So I definitely recommend finding your routine that works for you.

AND I have started my workout again. I used to hate it but I am now very proud of myself. If you know me personally, I make 45 mins home workout so much more fun now. Going workout and knowing I am taking care of myself just makes me feel so good. Doing something that benefits me. Ya it sounds crazy and I am just realized when you taking care of your body and keep telling yourself that you are beautiful and how grateful you are, honey you are boosting your confidence.

Another thing that's been helping me through this process is the company of amazing friends. I have a few friends in particular. We tried to talk and discuss things and they are my accountability partners. We are like, what's going on in our lives, what are we working on, how we accomplish our goals, moving forwards, what are we planning to do. Knowing there's somebody who's checking on you, that's priceless. In addition to like hanging out with people that I already know, it only takes a phone call or getting my butt out of bed and going out to see these people. Just learning something new to realize that we all going through it together.

Also focus on something I love to do. If you all going through anything, trying to search for answers, not sure who you are anymore, take comfort at other people who are going through it as well and I can't tell you how much self reflection and self care are your best friend right now. Take really good care of yourself, be patient with yourself and allow God to go to your transition and actively work to do a transition. It is going to be hard, it is going to be painful. But once you realize that you are growing and you are learning and you are reconnecting with yourself is like the best feeling ever.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE. I HOPE YOU ALL HAD THE BEST DAYS!

Seeking God First in Singleness, Dating + Marriage

The very basic question is how does seeking God look in general and singleness and why is it important? for me personally seeking God in general is you know by praying intentionally, communicating with Him through prayer or through worship. But then you can go to a whole new level and go deeper with it. Say something heavy from your heart and you want to know what the Lord's perfect will in a situation you are in.

God wants us to have the intimacy with Him, He wants us to meet Him face to face like He did with Abraham. A lot of times I feel like we feel so far away from God, but my question to you is how much have you done to get yourself closer to Him? It takes work, my friend. 

Seeking God when you have crush on someone and when you think he/she could be a potential someone. You can seek the Lord in different ways than that, if the Lord whether you want it or not, you can ask Him, ”okay Lord, I am in a season of waiting, maybe I don’t like it or maybe I do. But the way that kind of flip me be your attitude or the position of your heart is having vision and purpose for that singleness.” Because I believe if you are going to do anything in life without vision, intention and purpose, you aimlessly enter into things that maybe first, God doesn’t want you to enter into that situation, or second maybe it’s not the right time for you entering to it. If you are entering too soon you are going to get beat up, you are going get broken bones. 

To all those singles out there, I would encourage you to intentionally ask Jesus what is your singleness is about? What is it for? We sometimes forget about it and assume that our purpose and our vision in life is only for marriage and relationships, but in fact God also does visions for your singleness. I think a lot of times we waste time and we don’t glean all the beautiful lesson and things that the Lord has us to learn in the season he has for us.

For me personally being single is a beautiful time. It is time for you to solely focus on your relationship with Christ and hear what he is speaking to you without outside distractions. Our culture tells us that we are not worthy if we are not in a relationship with the opposite sex. But, I say (and the Bible), we are in a relationship, all the time, and it happens to be with someone far better than we deserve, Jesus Christ.

The more that you see Him in your singleness and the more that you are in tune to the call of His purpose, it actually prepares you for whatever comes after that season of singleness. You need to go deeper, because if you don’t go into it individually knowing the vision that God has for you, then you could potentially hook up with the wrong person, you could go down to the path that the Lord never intended you to be on. So when you know your heart, you believe, have the confirmation from God, your standard is going to be raised and you are going to filter out a lot of people that you shouldn’t be connecting with, wasting your time and wasting their time. As believers we need to look different than the world. The world dates for selfish reason, they married for selfish reason, it is pleasing and satisfying their desires and taking from each other what they can get from the most part. But we have vision and purpose. 

We date to marry for a reason. Marriage for us has a whole different notes. It is basically the reflection of our relationship with God. So if you are walking into dating situation without understanding that, you are dating aimlessly. Two people coming together for the Lord sake is meant to reflect His relationship and His Love. The enemy has done a dang good job at destroying something that God has done for us. We have to get back to the heart of God and raise that standard from that worldly one to the heavenly one.

We also need to start asking the Lord, why am I dating this person? or what is my singleness is about?. We need to compare each other’s calls and visions because if your heart really is to seek the kingdom of God and let your relationship honors and glorifies Him and give this world a taste of heaven and who He is and His desires for us, then you are going to know if whether the calls are different or not, or maybe this person is not the right one for you, or maybe your singleness has its own purpose and vision for you to be prepared for the next season of your life. Fix your eyes on God, friends and family. It will all be worth the wait, I promise!

Friendship Advice | Toxic Friends | Personal Opinion as Christians

I remember our third meeting. After Sunday Church my friend and I spent like 4 hours at Starbucks and laughing like old friends. Talking about "friendship" for me is very personal and I love my friends. We both love our friends. She had 5 questions in her pocket and I gave her my personal answers. 

Question number 1

I feel like with friendship when you are Christian, there is like too extreme, you can have only Christian friends and then you have kind of like coming from your old life you can only have secular friends. Do you think that is okay to have both extreme or do you think everyone needs a mixture?

Answer

Definitely it can be a huge temptation you want one and the other that is more comfortable, when you know the people in our lives for a long time, especially there is a past or memories of any kind that we cling to that. And especially when you first become a Christian, you definitely need people of all ages especially the people who pour into us, very well minded, positive, giving us advice, being there for us because that is how we grow. We need people who push us that way.

Question number 2

Should we pray about who we become friends with?

Answer

I personally think it can become so cliché that we pray about it, but I believe it is very important that we have that tool. I mean the people that we spend most of our time with is friends and who we spend our time with is most likely who we will become as well. So by being prayerful is not only allowing God to be a focus within our friendship, but it is also a self-check, like an evaluation, “are these people good for me?”.

Question number 3

In my mind, I organized my friends into like, friends that I helped grow, which is mostly like Christians who are on a different walk. And then there is like friends that we both love each other grow. And then there is like people who helped me grow, more like a leader role. So if no one fits in those categories, do you think that they are not worth spending time on? Is that sounds harsh? Because you are investing time right?

Answer

To me, I do not have a whole lot of time to just do that. I so much rather like invest in a few friends. I think that also it is important to have those people you can pour into  because we are given knowledge to be able to spread and I think that is also having people pour into you, or in a mentor form is also super important at any point no matter your ages you know. You can grow and you can learn no matter what. So I think those are really safe good category and I think obviously there will be people that kind of come and go and it is okay.

Question number 4

How do you know when you need to cut a friend off / distant / know they are toxic?

Answer

Well I think that I have had a lot of friends in my life that have been both positive and negative and I find that a lot of times back in high school uni age, people were so insecure you know and I was just like thinking that I engaged my bunch of space off on how they can contribute to my life as long as they are pulling me to do things that are not good, or being overly negative, or overly pessimistic not supporting me on good things. I feel like you really have to watch the negative friends.

Question number 5

There is often times and seasons where people leave or something happens and they are leaving. How do you feel about that? Because when I invested in a friendship, I love my friends. If we are friends, I always hoped we will be friends forever until we die. I want a long term friendship. I really love my friends but when things changed I do not really know how to go from there?

Answer

I have actually had a lot of friends that are coming on through out my life and I think that I really have found out even in the loneliest spot when all of my friends left me, I knew that there is a reason for it. You know every time that happened it was just like,”okay God I don’t know what the heck you were doing.” But then down the line even like in a couple years down I was like,”Oh my Gosh I was friends with them, I don’t know what I have done.” Even good friends, they go through stuff that could bring you down. I think one of the fun things, when you buy new shoes, you know they are going to wear out one day and then you have one that are going to last forever. You just have to believe that if God takes your friends not because you have done anything wrong, not because you were not worthy. It just means that God might have new and better friends for you.

You need to pray for healing, pray for the person that hurt you, we believe in a way that help you grow. Like you forgive the person and you become healed. Pray for peace and healing. God will bring you better friends, whether it is a new one or an old one from your past. Just be happy about it.

Cheers x