Through this crazy process of oh my God what am I doing? that I started to notice a lot other things that were not necessarily going right in my life as well. All these crazy emotions, it's just been a mirror of myself, of what I am going through. My life is confused, because I am confused and that has been the most beautiful painful thing I have ever had to deal within my life. Beautiful because growth is beautiful and when you figure out that you are growing like ah I am growing, I am changing, but when you're in it and you don't realize what is going on, that could be painful, because you're like why is everything going wrong?
No more self-blame. Stop blaming myself for everything for every single little thing. Self forgiveness and removing shame from your own self is probably the most important thing that I am learning to do. You can't move forward if you keep pulling yourself back into shame. It is so easy to forget that 5 months ago you already learned a lesson and not blame yourself, but when you are not feeling good, it is so easy to sink back to old habits and old thoughts.
Things I have been doing is meditation. This is hard. It is hard because from my wake up, I am always trying to think I have to do this and that, I did not do this and that, so when I have to take 10 to 15 minutes in the morning to meditate, probably the first 5 minutes is just moving all my thoughts aside, acknowledge your thought and you let them travel on and then sitting still for those minutes and letting whatever if I am listening to worship songs or if I am guiding myself through meditation, it has been, I want to say life-changing. That 10 to 15 minutes in the morning where it is just all about me and God and focusing my energy and being still and breathing has changed the entire tone of my day. There's no longer my day starts with panic, it starts with calm and gratitude. Anybody out there who's having trouble with anxiety or anything like that, learn how to meditate, there's some great apps out there. I listen to podcast a lot so I actually found podcast. Right now I am listening to Meditation Minis Podcast. Huge thanks to my friend, Peter (my old buddy from uni hey if you are reading this!) who pushes me to do meditation.
A few years ago an amazing mentor of mine told me when I read, not just read, but to reflect. I have been practicing doing a lot of reflective reading, at least 1 or 2 nights a week. If I am reading more of like a self development book, after I read a certain amount then I will do a 30 minutes reflection, and also as I am reading I take notes anything that jumps out which I think it's good. Writing notes and writing down how I feel really punctuates whatever I am reading.
A long side that also, journal. What I've noticed, a lot of times when I am going through stuff, I feel so ashamed that I don't want to write what I am feeling even though I know it's going to help. I've been forcing myself to be like, girl write it, think through it, go through it. A lot of times I am writing through stuff, getting the answer as I am writing because my brain is literally processing what's going on and it's like oh aha..
Having a morning and night time routine is extremely grounding. It's not about the chaos of trying to figure out your day anymore, it's literally like here's the 5 things I do in the morning; I get up, I pray, I read my bible, I meditate and I set my target for the day. In the evening, I come home, I shower, I pick and watch church sermons/ read my bible, I write my journal and listen to my podcast, go through my instagram/blog post, and I go to bed. Those are my routine. So I definitely recommend finding your routine that works for you.
AND I have started my workout again. I used to hate it but I am now very proud of myself. If you know me personally, I make 45 mins home workout so much more fun now. Going workout and knowing I am taking care of myself just makes me feel so good. Doing something that benefits me. Ya it sounds crazy and I am just realized when you taking care of your body and keep telling yourself that you are beautiful and how grateful you are, honey you are boosting your confidence.
Another thing that's been helping me through this process is the company of amazing friends. I have a few friends in particular. We tried to talk and discuss things and they are my accountability partners. We are like, what's going on in our lives, what are we working on, how we accomplish our goals, moving forwards, what are we planning to do. Knowing there's somebody who's checking on you, that's priceless. In addition to like hanging out with people that I already know, it only takes a phone call or getting my butt out of bed and going out to see these people. Just learning something new to realize that we all going through it together.
Also focus on something I love to do. If you all going through anything, trying to search for answers, not sure who you are anymore, take comfort at other people who are going through it as well and I can't tell you how much self reflection and self care are your best friend right now. Take really good care of yourself, be patient with yourself and allow God to go to your transition and actively work to do a transition. It is going to be hard, it is going to be painful. But once you realize that you are growing and you are learning and you are reconnecting with yourself is like the best feeling ever.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE. I HOPE YOU ALL HAD THE BEST DAYS!
Things I have been doing is meditation. This is hard. It is hard because from my wake up, I am always trying to think I have to do this and that, I did not do this and that, so when I have to take 10 to 15 minutes in the morning to meditate, probably the first 5 minutes is just moving all my thoughts aside, acknowledge your thought and you let them travel on and then sitting still for those minutes and letting whatever if I am listening to worship songs or if I am guiding myself through meditation, it has been, I want to say life-changing. That 10 to 15 minutes in the morning where it is just all about me and God and focusing my energy and being still and breathing has changed the entire tone of my day. There's no longer my day starts with panic, it starts with calm and gratitude. Anybody out there who's having trouble with anxiety or anything like that, learn how to meditate, there's some great apps out there. I listen to podcast a lot so I actually found podcast. Right now I am listening to Meditation Minis Podcast. Huge thanks to my friend, Peter (my old buddy from uni hey if you are reading this!) who pushes me to do meditation.
A few years ago an amazing mentor of mine told me when I read, not just read, but to reflect. I have been practicing doing a lot of reflective reading, at least 1 or 2 nights a week. If I am reading more of like a self development book, after I read a certain amount then I will do a 30 minutes reflection, and also as I am reading I take notes anything that jumps out which I think it's good. Writing notes and writing down how I feel really punctuates whatever I am reading.
A long side that also, journal. What I've noticed, a lot of times when I am going through stuff, I feel so ashamed that I don't want to write what I am feeling even though I know it's going to help. I've been forcing myself to be like, girl write it, think through it, go through it. A lot of times I am writing through stuff, getting the answer as I am writing because my brain is literally processing what's going on and it's like oh aha..
Having a morning and night time routine is extremely grounding. It's not about the chaos of trying to figure out your day anymore, it's literally like here's the 5 things I do in the morning; I get up, I pray, I read my bible, I meditate and I set my target for the day. In the evening, I come home, I shower, I pick and watch church sermons/ read my bible, I write my journal and listen to my podcast, go through my instagram/blog post, and I go to bed. Those are my routine. So I definitely recommend finding your routine that works for you.
AND I have started my workout again. I used to hate it but I am now very proud of myself. If you know me personally, I make 45 mins home workout so much more fun now. Going workout and knowing I am taking care of myself just makes me feel so good. Doing something that benefits me. Ya it sounds crazy and I am just realized when you taking care of your body and keep telling yourself that you are beautiful and how grateful you are, honey you are boosting your confidence.
Another thing that's been helping me through this process is the company of amazing friends. I have a few friends in particular. We tried to talk and discuss things and they are my accountability partners. We are like, what's going on in our lives, what are we working on, how we accomplish our goals, moving forwards, what are we planning to do. Knowing there's somebody who's checking on you, that's priceless. In addition to like hanging out with people that I already know, it only takes a phone call or getting my butt out of bed and going out to see these people. Just learning something new to realize that we all going through it together.
Also focus on something I love to do. If you all going through anything, trying to search for answers, not sure who you are anymore, take comfort at other people who are going through it as well and I can't tell you how much self reflection and self care are your best friend right now. Take really good care of yourself, be patient with yourself and allow God to go to your transition and actively work to do a transition. It is going to be hard, it is going to be painful. But once you realize that you are growing and you are learning and you are reconnecting with yourself is like the best feeling ever.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE. I HOPE YOU ALL HAD THE BEST DAYS!
