Socialize People!

We have seen it before, a couple sitting together on a dinner date both completely ignoring each other in favour of their smartphones. Neither one looks up acknowledgment of the other for most of their time together, both engrossed so deeply in something clearly riveting on screen. I can feel awkward and uncomfortable to watch at times, though more and more couples are favouring their smart phones over face to face contact. So much so, in fact, that they could even be having a conversation on social media as they sit across from one another in a restaurant.

Technology is supposed to make us more connected. We can stay in touch with our friends all the time, from Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and of course, by texting. But are our smartphones actually getting in the way of real socializing? Could technology be making us more alone?

Some can say that it makes us more independent with the people around us. As technology continues to get more and more advanced, we continue to get more absorbed into the world of technology and it becomes a bigger part of our lives. Sometimes it can be positive, and other times it can be negative. We continue to adapt more and more to the world of technology as it becomes a bigger part of my life. Nowadays, a lot of people rely on the internet to help their lives easier. Now that people are absorbed into their phones or computer and they tend to forget about the world around them.

Intimacy is hard to achieve or maintain when your laptop or phone keeps beeping with alerts, notifications and email reminders. A constant merciless distraction, our gadgets have come to replace deep-felt, long conversations in view of non-urgent, shallow tasks; retweeting a fun fact, updating your Path, Instagram or Facebook status for the 136th time.

In Fact, some people talk more about their relationships on Facebook than they do face to face with the person they are actually in a relationship with!

Technology was not always here, but it was not always here, but it was created for people to keep us more connected. People say if this technology cuts us off from real people, is this true? Sometimes we see people all the time in groups of friends, but we never see them talking, they are always on their phones. Some people even text a person when they are in the same room as them. A lot of people get so lost in the internet world that they make people in the real world feel alone, and unwanted. It seems like people do not realize that the more your on your phone the more you drive people away. So yeah technology does make us more alone.

We could fix this if we put our heads into it, but some people see technology as a necessity. Phones and the internet are like an addiction, hard to stop when we needed to. If people would give technology a break, and start socializing. We would be less addicted, and less lonely. So please think about how technology treats you.

Socialize, people! ;)

Tuesday Thoughts

The world that we live in can be a scary place for us. In this age of technology, it can be hard to get away from the media, which can be a negative place full of worrying pressures for us growing up. Obviously I try to make to make my little corner of the internet a happy and positive place to be. It’s very easy to feel as though you SHOULD be doing something to please others, even at 24 I feel this way about certain aspects of my life. Do I do everything for me? Is every decision I make for me? Let alone when you are growing up and you feel the pressures of making decisions is even harder and your surrounded by people telling you what it is you probably should be doing. 

If they want to play the drums, they can. If they want to be a ballerina, they can. it’s so important to remember that the world is your oyster and you can go wherever you want to go, and do whatever you want to do. It doesn’t mean the road will be smooth along the way, but with determination and confidence, anyone can reach their potential. If you love something, do it.

When I first started blogging back in 2014, I didn’t know it would end up loving writing (to be honest, it still doesn’t feel like I love this work), but I stuck at it because I loved it. It was so much fun. I had people discouraging me along the way, some told me it was silly. There were times when I would listen to them, and I would consider stopping, but something in me didn’t want to give it up and I stuck at it. Every time from then on when someone discouraged my blog or anything I am doing, it made me work harder. It’s so important to follow your heart in these situations, even if everyone else is telling you it won’t work, or you should be doing something different, that doesn’t mean they're right. Only you know what feels right, and only you can act upon it.

Happy Tuesday

Don't forget to smiiilleee! x

Relaxing..Motivational Sunday :)

I feel slow and sluggish but I have just made a big to-do list, had some toast and I am writing this. Sometimes completing just one task gives you the motivation to tackle and complete another, you just have to start.

Yesterday was a write off. I had such plans for so many things. Finished my Saturday class and instead, chatted with my best friend Jovita and Faris that I just met yesterday. Spent the entire day with Jovita, it was lovely.

Sometimes when you do not do any work for a day, just make my mark on the world, relaxing, just live my day. 

It is just so, so beautiful.

I did so many things for these past few years, I did earn my money, and I did further my career. I felt like career-wise it was such an amazing year and I am truly grateful for what I have so far. Personally though, I was crumbling.

This week remember what you are living for. Take time and enjoy your life. Remember that there is so much more to your life than working and think about what really makes you rich. 

Love you lots.

xx

Hate Awkward Silence?

Conversation is supposed to be an opportunity to meet someone new, bond over shared interests. It is supposed to feel natural where the right thing to say comes effortlessly. It is supposed to be anxiety free where you can focus on connecting with the other person instead of worrying about how you're coming across. Unfortunately for many people conversation it is not much fun.

Maybe your conversations tend to sputter out prematurely, and you are not sure how to keep them going, or you want more meaningful connections with others, but you are not sure how to take your conversations beyond small talk and into that deeper lever. By this case, I don’t think there are any tricks you have to apply to be a great conversationalist but I have a few timeless rules I apply to all my conversations.

First thing first, be genuinely interested in the person. Who is this person? what he/she enjoy doing? and what motivates him/her in life?. You have to know who are you talking to and make sure you do not waste your time for someone you do not like to spend time with.

Observing situations and listen. You know how to pay attention to details. To observe people and the world around you. People also like good listeners. Would not you rather speak with someone who was interested in what you had to say rather than someone who looked bored and indifferent? Also, when you listen you learn. When you are speaking you are not learning anything new. Make a conscious effort to focus on what people say. Show that you are interested by asking questions that support and develop the conversation.

Focus on the positives. Go for the positive topics. Which means rather than talk about past grievances, talk about your future goals. Rather than talk about the coffee that spilled on your table this morning, talk about that movie you are looking forward to watch later. It is okay to talk about negative topics once in a while, but only when you feel it is okay with the other person and when It has a specific purpose.

Respect, do not impose and judge. Respect other people's point of view. Respect other people's space, do not encroach on the person's privacy unless a common bond has been out. Respect other people's personal choices. Everyone has their own right to be themselves, just as your have the right to be yourself.

Put the person in his/her best light. Always look for ways to make the person look good. Give credit where credit is due. Recognize talent where you see it. Drop compliments where appropriate and allow the person to shine in his/her own light.

Embrace difference. We all different. for the difference, embrace them because they make all of us unique. As you talk to the other person, look for commonalities between you and him/her. Once you find a common link, build on it. Use that to spin off more discussions which will then reveal more about both of you. 

Be true to yourself.  be natural and do not try to be anything that you are not. Approach the situation with a positive attitude and tell yourself that you are going to have a good time and meet some interesting people. Relax, smile and enjoy your time. People prefer to mix with the happy and good natured rather than the grumpy and miserable. 

Overcoming Panic Attacks

Wanted to share my story with you about my anxiety problem as I am hoping that if you are reading my experience as a panic attack sufferer, I may help you in some ways.

Anxiety is an awful emotion to feel, a feeling that cannot be easily controlled and you are unaware of it creeping up on you. Different levels of anxiety lie in all of us all the time. From a simple thing like "Oh no, I've got school/work tomorrow" to something a lot more nerve wracking like a scary job interview or when your boss is waiting for your work to be done (I know I'm not the only one). When we are stressed, our anxiety levels are much higher and some of us become a lot more sensitive to it. For those of you who are calm and fearless, you will have a much more lower anxiety threshold (I am jealous of those of you who are like this).

I've suffered with panic attacks for i don't know how long, so I'm writing my story for those of you who struggle to understand, need advice or need someone else to understand.

What happens during a panic attack? Adrenaline is released, thus causing your heart to beat faster, and your muscles to tense. Our digestive system shuts down, making your throat dry and making you feel sick, you become more aware of sounds and smells around you (it's like someone turned up the volume and in a busy place, it was loud enough anyway). It can cause a number of different emotional sensations. It may includes, feeling dizzy, sweating, numbness in your hands and feet, feelings of absolute terror, feeling unreality and being extremely uncontrollable crying (that's what I feel).

What actually helps me? Slow, take a deep breath, and I also think it’s important to write down how you are feeling if you feel like you are about to panic. Once when I was on the tube, I started having a panic attack, so I whacked out my phone and started frantically writing how I felt and every time something changed mentally or physically, I’d write it. This weirdly, calmed me down a lot quicker. I don’t know if this is because it distracted me, or because it made everything slightly more logical. In a panic attack I always say to myself, "I can do it no matter how I feel. I am proud of myself. Breath slow and low, stay in the present. You are courageous."

The more I resist panic, the worse it gets. The more I develop the habit of acceptance, the more progress I make toward my goal of overcoming panic attacks. Please share your experience. It will help others just like you reading my story. Cheers x