Hate Awkward Silence?

Conversation is supposed to be an opportunity to meet someone new, bond over shared interests. It is supposed to feel natural where the right thing to say comes effortlessly. It is supposed to be anxiety free where you can focus on connecting with the other person instead of worrying about how you're coming across. Unfortunately for many people conversation it is not much fun.

Maybe your conversations tend to sputter out prematurely, and you are not sure how to keep them going, or you want more meaningful connections with others, but you are not sure how to take your conversations beyond small talk and into that deeper lever. By this case, I don’t think there are any tricks you have to apply to be a great conversationalist but I have a few timeless rules I apply to all my conversations.

First thing first, be genuinely interested in the person. Who is this person? what he/she enjoy doing? and what motivates him/her in life?. You have to know who are you talking to and make sure you do not waste your time for someone you do not like to spend time with.

Observing situations and listen. You know how to pay attention to details. To observe people and the world around you. People also like good listeners. Would not you rather speak with someone who was interested in what you had to say rather than someone who looked bored and indifferent? Also, when you listen you learn. When you are speaking you are not learning anything new. Make a conscious effort to focus on what people say. Show that you are interested by asking questions that support and develop the conversation.

Focus on the positives. Go for the positive topics. Which means rather than talk about past grievances, talk about your future goals. Rather than talk about the coffee that spilled on your table this morning, talk about that movie you are looking forward to watch later. It is okay to talk about negative topics once in a while, but only when you feel it is okay with the other person and when It has a specific purpose.

Respect, do not impose and judge. Respect other people's point of view. Respect other people's space, do not encroach on the person's privacy unless a common bond has been out. Respect other people's personal choices. Everyone has their own right to be themselves, just as your have the right to be yourself.

Put the person in his/her best light. Always look for ways to make the person look good. Give credit where credit is due. Recognize talent where you see it. Drop compliments where appropriate and allow the person to shine in his/her own light.

Embrace difference. We all different. for the difference, embrace them because they make all of us unique. As you talk to the other person, look for commonalities between you and him/her. Once you find a common link, build on it. Use that to spin off more discussions which will then reveal more about both of you. 

Be true to yourself.  be natural and do not try to be anything that you are not. Approach the situation with a positive attitude and tell yourself that you are going to have a good time and meet some interesting people. Relax, smile and enjoy your time. People prefer to mix with the happy and good natured rather than the grumpy and miserable.